This is a continuation of my earlier post, Lessons from a Hoikuen, a dedicated childcare facility in Japan where I have been teaching English for the past several months.
1. Be in the moment
Children at play are totally engrossed in playing. They have no sense of timing as to when it will end unless they are tired, hungry or in need of the toilet. Time is something that we become more aware of as we get older and have more responsibilities. However, it is important to be fully in the moment when one is on the mission field. Take your time, don’t keep thinking of what is next or just move on to the next thing. When we are fully in the moment, we notice things that we otherwise may not notice, and learn things that we may otherwise miss. Jesus was always in the moment. He was never in a rush. In Luke 21, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury AND the widow with two mites. He saw their hearts.
2. Papa ga ii (Children say this when they miss their father (or mother), but the literal meaning is Being with Papa is better!)
This is something I hear almost daily. The children start to miss their parents the moment they are dropped off. Usually, they will talk to their favourite teacher at the preschool, play, have their meal and play some more until they go home. When they are picked up, almost always they will run to their parents who will then pick them up and hug them. If they had drawn or coloured something for the day, they would excitedly show that to their parent. Likewise, there will be times when we will miss something, someone, some food or place. It’s okay. The time will soon pass before one is reconnected again.
3. Time Out
This was implemented to help children manage their emotions better and to prevent them from hurting themselves and others. However, this is often seen as punishment as some children think that the teacher is stopping them from doing what they like. That is not the point. Time out is preventive by nature, to help children regulate their own emotions better. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, a child may lash out at another or both are angry. Time out allows them to move away from each other and calm down before they process the situation with a teacher and/or apologize to each other.
On the mission field, time-outs occur as well. It could be we are too tired or our emotions have gotten out of control or things have become so mundane and boring that we are just going through the motions and therefore, we are given time out or are in need of time out. Sometimes, time-outs could also be seen as spiritual warfare or the devil’s attempt to stop what we are doing if things are going well. Whatever the reason, there is a Sabbath rest in God that we must take to recalibrate and recalibrate, we must. It is in the time outs, when we step out of the arena for a second, catch our breath, and regain perspective, that helps us to continue doing what we are doing.
4. Ask and tell
Children ask for things very naturally. They ask to play with a certain toy, ask for food when hungry, ask for permission to do things and so forth. They tell things like it is very naturally too, like when it’s their birthday or when they are excited about going away for the weekend or when a dragonfly has just perched itself onto the ceiling. They say thank you when something nice is done to them and express gratefulness before they eat their lunch.
As adults, we ask and tell less for whatever reason; whether it is with man or God. Instead, the tendency is to complain. Well, on the field, asking, telling and being grateful is necessary. If one is sick, ask for a doctor. If one is lost, ask for directions. If one doesn’t know how to open a bank account or register for something, ask. My Japanese friend once told me rather seriously, “You must ask, everyone may be busy but still you must ask if you need something.” I have not forgotten that piece of advice. Sometimes my asking has resulted in a Japanese friend taking a few hours of their time to accompany me to do something administrative at the city office or the bank. I have felt bad about taking up so much of their time but I have also learnt that these things are necessary and they are more than willing to accompany me because they are grateful for my time invested in their country, but I must take the first step to ask.
Regardless of whether one is on the mission field as a missionary or as a tentmaker, knowing how to manage one’s expectations and emotions is important. Being honest with oneself is also important when things do not go as planned. This may happen in the early months of arriving on the field, perhaps even up to two years. There will be disappointments, struggles and trials as well as happy, enjoyable and even euphoric moments. Take them in one’s stride; neither is a reflection of who one is. If things are going badly, it doesn’t mean one is a failure nor does it mean that one is a success if things are going well. For missionaries, usually, there are teams and team leaders to help one process what is happening. Individually, things can be a bit different. Find someone to confide in and pray with, whether on the field or back home. Recall again why one is on the field. Perceived failures do not define us any more than success should. After all, we are children, beloved children in the embrace of Almighty Papa God; that is who we are and where it is safest for us to reside. Papa ga ii!
About the Author:
The author had wanted to go to Japan for a very long time. The opportunity presented itself last year and she is now there as an English teacher. Much of what has been shared here has been the author’s journey in the past several months, learning to live in a different cultural setting and to overcome.
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